When I first got my job I was pretty sure that my Tuesday route, which consisted of every single Summer Palace within a 45 mile radius from Waco and several restaurants just like that, was like- the newbie joke- like- lets give the shittiest route to the new girl. haha, real funny.
Some day I will write about that day since it is my most hated day of the week- If I could figure out a way to procrastinate a day, Tuesday would be the day I would procrastinate, I just want to skip it every week and get to it when I feel like it.... too bad that can't be done... yet.
SO today I will talk about Wednesday. The day I GET to go to Marlin. Marlin, Marlin, Marlin.... such a sad little town. I guess they don't pay taxes here since there are potholes the size of Texas in the main streets, abandoned buildings line the drag, horses roam freely (apparently). I have proof.
Marlin, where the mail lady, possibly a man, walks the mail into Don's Wrecker Service and walks out with an ice cream cone. Things are happening here. Not all normal, but none the less, they're happening.
THANK goodness for my mother, Martha Focker. If she hadn't ridden with me last Wednesday then I would have never known the severity of this mess they call a city here in Marlin. We had some time to kill so we rode around and looked at "houses". Above is a real picture that I took with my phone shortly after asking a young black boy, who was walking down the street, if he knew anything about the horse that was just grazing on someones porch.... he looked straight ahead and kept his head up high and said "No", timidly as he kept walking. WHATEVER! Someone else in this God Forsaken town had to think that it was weird that a horse, a very large HORSE was eating on the porch of someones home????? And then they tell me they don't know anything about it, like I'M the freak for asking? So, I did what any city girl would do and I tried calling 911, because I classify this as an EMERGENCY. Martha didn't think I should call, and she told me that it was bold of me to ask that boy about the horse. EVEN Martha Focker was trying to act like it was normal. Focker talked me into just calling the police department, so I did. I said "UMMMM YEAH! I'M IN MARLIN AND I SEE THIS HORSE EATING HAY ON SOMEONES PORCH- LIKE IN THEIR HOME- WITH THE FRONT DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR ALL THE FLIES TO GET IN AND A/C TO GET OUT! IS THIS NORMAL?" a lady on the other end who sounded like a drugged Steve Urkel said "mmm ok maam...... i'll get someone out there in a minute" (say that to yourself sounding like a drugged Steve Urkel, I swear, it was slow, and annoying) NO sense of urgency WHATSOEVER! That squad car never came by, surprise, surprise. I told my next customer about it and they said, oh yeah thats old man Heath's horse, he just lets him roam around. I'm speechless.
THEN, I get a new lead, the Kwikee Stop in Marlin..... Abu Patel needs to talk to me immediately about getting some fried taco snacks up in that place. I go in. It's like the fun house at six flags that is leaning at a 45 degree angle, ya know? As I walked through door beads, a thick layer of smoke and the irritating aroma of incense, I approach Shakeel, Abu's brother. Abu isn't there, so I waited for Shakeel to call him. As I'm waiting I decide to check out these smelly incense, even though I hate them. Flavors: Money, Black Love, Sweet G Spot.... It's not a joke. It's printed on the incense. I'm so embarassed. I kind of want to smell Sweet G Spot, but what would people think? Seriously? I'm just curious, I don't think it sounds like it smells good, but I'm overcome with curiosity, what in the WORLD could that smell like? I have no desire however, to smell Black Love. That's just sick. And, even though I love money, I have never thought it smelled that good.
