Houston/Chilton

I like Houston, but the drive is just horrendous. Especially when you're driving with all men and all they do is talk about man stuff, and you are sitting behind the driver who is damn near 7 feet tall and you have no room to put your legs. I look like the exorcism of Emily Rose over here. I think my arm is bending in an unjointed area.  This is the longest, most boring, most miserable drive home that I have ever had. Did I mention that I'm hungover? OH! Yeah, on top of everything else I am experiencing flu like symptoms caused by an overdose of Vodka.

We have 10 miles until we get to Marlin. THANK YOU JESUS! I have never been so excited to see that shithole. Speaking of which, if you haven't ever been to Marlin- don't go- you can just read my blog about it and you can save the time and gas it would take to get there.  If you think Marlin is bad, you should take HWY 7 straight to Chilton and see how those people live. Chilton makes Marlin look like a booming metropolis.  I had to go to a client in Chilton on Friday and I left crying, not because the meeting went bad, but because I felt sorry for all the poor people that have to live there.  I had to pee so bad but hell would hath frozen over before I would use a bathroom in that "town".  My bladder nearly burst as I was leaving but I figured it was only like 25 minutes until I got home.  5 minutes of driving down a country road with nothing for miles on either side of you and a full bladder will make you do weird things. I couldn't hold it anymore. I had to pull over.  There was no one around, so I did the deed behind my car in the grass.  Of course I start to panic- what if there is a snake or a skunk? HOLY omg. WTF am I doing?  I couldn't pee fast enough.  I had held it so long though and so much had built up that I wasn't stopping. Then in the far distance I see a car.  Please don't be a cop. I once heard that if you got caught peeing in public that you would get a ticket for that and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life. OH that's real nice, I had to pee so bad I stopped in the middle of the country, got my ass bit by a rattlesnake, sprayed by a skunk and became a sex offender.  I cut it off midstream to avoid a confrontation or a honk from the guy coming down the road.  Thankfully all of the aforementioned events did not occur, I don't have to pee anymore, and everything will be just fine when I get home.